Boy meets girl. Boy pursues girl. Boy gets girl. Boy marries girl. Boy exhausted now! That may be an all too familiar scenario in today’s instant gratification society, but guys it’s not an excuse to stop dating your wives. If your marriage is important, then both of you must put a high value on dating your spouse.
Studies suggest that married couples who invest in their relationship by having at least one date night per week experience: a significant increase in happiness, relationship satisfaction, communication, and sexual satisfaction by about 350% or 3.5 times higher than couples who aren’t regularly dating. Who doesn’t want that!? By doing this one activity regularly, it WILL impact the quality of your marriage. The study mentioned above was done by Dr. Greg Smalley of Focus on the Family. They concluded this from scientific research done by: the Survey of Marital Generosity (SMG), a national study of more than 1,600 married couples aged eighteen to fifty-five that was conducted in 2010 and 2011 by the National Marriage Project at the University of Virginia. You can read all about this and more from a sample portion of their book, “Take The Date Night Challenge“.
This really is important and you must be intentional because life will always find a way to conflict with this activity. The way I like to look at it is this: when you are intentional about dating your spouse, you say to your spouse…your kids…your family…your friends…and everyone else, that your marriage is important and you are taking time to water that garden. This is just one way that you are honoring your marriage and you are setting an example for everyone that is watching, including your children. As we can see from what we learned above, chances are we will also reap a harvest of satisfaction in our marriage to boot.
Having a regular date night is a great way to reconnect your heart with your spouse. So, that sounds good to you but how often should we do that? Hmm…great question but ultimately that is up to you both. How much are you willing to invest in your marriage? I’m not just talking about money, I’m talking about the investment of time also. Some may say they can’t afford it…and some simply can’t afford not to do this. I’m not saying we need to spend gobs of cash just to date our spouses. Quite the contrary, you can have some great dates that cost little or even nothing if you are willing to get creative – and guys she’ll probably love these “cheap dates” even more. If you get hung up on the money thing you are missing the point entirely. The point is being consistent and intentional.
This idea of a regular date night is actually a very popular one. In fact, many churches have launched campaigns to encourage regular dating in marriage. Our friends at Woodland Hills Family Church in Branson, MO may have even unofficially started this trend of encouraging weekly dating your spouse, and it has become extremely popular. Even our own church at Life 360 Church has started encouraging marital dating at least once a month. This idea of dating in marriage has been such a big deal, that our friends at Date Night Comedy Tour have created a really fun date night experience for marriage that is gaining serious national attention lately. So, be on the lookout because they may be coming to a city near you soon!
Once again, the point of all this is to encourage you to create an environment in your own home that demonstrates honor for marriage. A fun way that you can do this is by making sure that you cultivate and protect a regular date night for you and your spouse well after the nuptials have taken place.
If you are looking for some great resources regarding: Dating in Marriage, please take a look a the link below.
Scriptures for Meditation
Hebrews 13:4 Marriage should be honored by all…
Ecclesiastes 9:9 Enjoy life with your wife, whom you love, all the days of this meaningless life that God has given you under the sun—all your meaningless days. For this is your lot in life and in your toilsome labor under the sun.